As one of the leading dating websites for mature singles, it’s no surprise that lonely singles turn to the experts at MatureDating.com for advice on love. Whatever the reason may be as to why you find yourself single, we’ve got useful information that will help you let go of your expectations of online dating, or dating in general, and make it easier for you to find the love you’re looking for.
- Loving someone starts with loving yourself.
It is understandable that at this point in your life, you’ve probably experienced some kind of heartache, whether a divorce or due to the loss of a spouse. After you’ve taken the time to grieve, you’re probably anxious to get back out there and find someone to spend your time with. But before you can get into another relationship, you’ve got to be able to love yourself first. This means you should be comfortable being alone. You should be able to look at yourself in the mirror and be happy with who you are as a single person. According to dating coach, Bobbi Palmer, “It’s about reacquainting yourself with who you are today and what value you hold in a partnership,” she said. “A lot of people are still holding on to the old vision of themselves.”
- Letting go of that internal list of what your partner must and mustn’t have.
No matter our age, we all have a list. This list can be as extensive and thorough as pinpointing what kind of car your ideal partner drives or it could be basic things like having similar values. Whatever is on that list, Palmer suggests that you let go of the superficial things that may be on that list and focus on the things that really matter, like their personality traits, similar core beliefs, values, and things of the like. Also, chances are you’ve had this list since you were young and as a mature adult, your priorities have probably changed.
- Casting your net far out there.
When you are trying to meet new people, you’ll want to plan when and where you are going to meet them. If you are trying to meet them online, you will want to join the websites that cater to your specific type of guy/gal. For example, if you want to date someone your age, sites like MatureDating.com are the perfect place to go. If you want to find someone who is outdoorsy, artistic, religious, and whatever else, there are plenty of sites for that too. The name of the game is that you want to get out there and make yourself available and ready to potentially find the love of your life.
- Choosing romance.
Now that you’ve prepared yourself to fall in love by learning to love yourself again, be more willing to date outside of your “list” and broadening your expectations of where to meet people, you actually have the chance to fall in love.
“On a first and second date you’re not trying to figure out if you’re going to marry him,” Palmer said with a chuckle. “You want to put your best foot forward [and] you want to show personality.”
When Palmer says that you need to put your best foot forward, she actually means that you should leave your past in the past and not rehash healed wounds. You are trying to woo someone, not burden them with how your ex may have done you wrong.
- Realizing when you should stay and when you should go.
As a mature single, you might feel like this will be your last chance to ever fall in love, so you might feel like you have to settle for someone that you aren’t truly happy with. Instead of settling, you have to listen to your instincts. If you don’t feel like the person you’ve been seeing is the one, then don’t feel like you have to stay.
“You’re really special and you have a lot to give,” Palmer said. “The right man will totally dig it and the wrong man won’t but that’s ok.”